I no longer want to be an open book
I want to be shrouded in mystery,
veiled in obscurity,
blanketed in secrecy
and camouflaged in ambiguity
I want to abandon all impulses
and live in concealment
I want to be unknown to all
and be known to only myself
I am a catalyst waiting to erupt
I am an unconventional puzzle with pieces missing
Thursday, December 2, 2010
A Letter to a Friend
Dear Friend,
I haven’t seen you for a long time, but have been thinking about you everyday. Sometimes I sit and wonder what happened to you and if I had pushed you away. Could it have been that I was too blind to see how important you were in my world? I remember when we would be together and things always seemed hopeful…my dreams, my aspirations, my life. But I let you go, allowed you to leave me here without a smile on my face. What has become of you, could there ever be reconciliation? Would there ever be a time when we would see each other again? You are in my heart, but buried beneath all the sadness that I feel, below the very existence that I have become. Is there a way that I would find myself lead back to you, or you to me? Is there a chance that I could feel your warmth embracing me, embodying my heart and my soul? I have lived without you for so long.
Is it my fault that you left? Was I not appreciative enough? Loving enough? Confident enough? The pure delight of your name, of the sound would enthrall me and enlighten me, would lift me up beyond the blue skis. But I have fallen to the ground, with a thunderous smack! I am left wounded and hurt by the lack of you being in my life. My soul has become blackened and has bleed from every inch…I am left with an emptiness. The contentment I had once felt has fleeted from my being and has left me urging for more, yet I find my hands empty every time I look down at them. You were a part of me, an essence that I still want to grasp, even for just a moment. Whether that moment lasts a second or a lifetime, just to have a glimpse of you, to feel your presence, would bring me back to a world rich with love and joy, purity and tranquility. Oh for just that one single glimpse, the sparkle in my eye would return, the bounce in my step would be lively and the laughter in my heart would ring out loudly for all to hear. For that one glance, I would give a lifetime; I would walk on fire and tread treacherous roads. I would climb mountains higher then the clouds and travel to another time…if only for a glance.
Oh dear friend of mine, your sweet perfumed smell of roses used to touch my senses and used to tickle me to the core….but my senses are now dead, immune to the stench of the pollution around me. Immune to the hate and betrayal, to the lies and deceit and the gluttony and selfishness that surrounds me. I have become so immune that it has become a part of my world, my existence, my very being. Please dear friend, I need your joy back in my life, your love in my heart and your breath in my soul. I hunger to feel the passion and sincerity, the abundance of emotions that would twirl around me when you were with me. I need to feel your affection from when you’d gently squeeze my heart when I was worried or sad. I need to hear your inspiring words whispered in my ear, the low whisper that would still find its way into my heart.
Dear friend I am pleading; I am begging and imploring you to return. Return safely to me. I pray to God that you would acknowledge my transgressions as those of a childish fool, and accept that I want, no, I need you, in my life again. Understand that I am just a mortal being and in my weakness, travelled in a direction that I knew not where it lead and found myself drowning in sorrow. Oh dear friend, just the thought of you being so far away, yet so close, scares me. For you have been with me, yet I have ignored your pleas and have acted in a selfish manner. Dear friend, please, I beseech you to return, however hard it is for me to accept my destiny, I have been the fool and need you to help me regain composure and love in my life. Dear friend, I leave you now and hope to see and feel you soon. Dear friend, on your arrival, I promise that I would be eternally grateful and in debited to you even in the hereafter.
Your Loving Friend Always…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Loving Friend Always…
What a coincidence! I too have been thinking about you and of the times when we used to spend hours on end daydreaming, laughing and loving life! But I am confused from your letter. I never left you. I am here with you all the time. Can’t you see and feel me? My existence is powered by those dreams that you think have escaped you, but have just been hiding in a dark and shallow place. I could never leave you, for you were so simple to please and love. Oh, wait, I understand…you thought that I could have been pushed away by you, by your actions? No sweetie, for I am too strong of a friend to just allow you to fall from grace. But I gave you space, that is what you needed to realize what was and is important in your life. I am always with you, but for me to be seen or felt, it needs to be something you are convinced that you deserve.
I hear in your tone that you have come to terms with your destiny and have accepted that my help is needed. Your transgressions were the same any other person would have committed. No mortal being on this Earth today is of pure heart; you are all capable of some injustice, of some hurt and pain. It is how your reaction to those actions set you apart from each other. You may have fallen with a thunderous smack, but you have the ability to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and continue. There is nothing to hold you back. You have the high self-esteem you used to carry around in your heart; you just have to find the key that opens the lock. The lock may be rusty, may need a jiggling around of the keys to open, but it will open, just want it enough.
You have also seen me, everyday, little and huge glimpses of me. Have you not noticed? Maybe you have been too busy drowning in your sorrows to realize this, but I have been in every smile you’ve come across, every hello that you have heard, every hug from a child that you have felt, every kiss that has graced your cheeks. My essence has also been in every tear that has been shed, every sacrifice that you have made for your loved ones, even every morning when you wake up. I have been around, I have never deserted you, but you need to understand that there are times you need to really want me close to you. I cannot be with you in times when you have turned a blind eye to my kindness or my gentleness. But I have been here; in the morning sun rays and the sweet spring rain, in the melodic laughter of a child, in a child’s eyes, in the sparkling stars that paint the black night with lights that dazzle. I have been here, in every I Love You that you have said or have heard, in every candle that is blown out on a wish, in every swing pushed high into the sky. With every picture that has been taken, capturing the innocence of a child, in the moonlight that keeps us sleeping peacefully, I have been here. I am all around you, but you must open not only your eyes to see me, but also your heart. You must accept that I exist to please you, to make your life whole. I am what you need in your life, I am what you want. Please, open your heart, trust the world, love yourself, cherish those that surround you, tell them everyday what they mean to you and you will find me at your doorstep again. Most importantly, acknowledge me, and acknowledge the good I do and believe me I would be with you forever.
Love Always Your Dear Friend,
Happiness
I haven’t seen you for a long time, but have been thinking about you everyday. Sometimes I sit and wonder what happened to you and if I had pushed you away. Could it have been that I was too blind to see how important you were in my world? I remember when we would be together and things always seemed hopeful…my dreams, my aspirations, my life. But I let you go, allowed you to leave me here without a smile on my face. What has become of you, could there ever be reconciliation? Would there ever be a time when we would see each other again? You are in my heart, but buried beneath all the sadness that I feel, below the very existence that I have become. Is there a way that I would find myself lead back to you, or you to me? Is there a chance that I could feel your warmth embracing me, embodying my heart and my soul? I have lived without you for so long.
Is it my fault that you left? Was I not appreciative enough? Loving enough? Confident enough? The pure delight of your name, of the sound would enthrall me and enlighten me, would lift me up beyond the blue skis. But I have fallen to the ground, with a thunderous smack! I am left wounded and hurt by the lack of you being in my life. My soul has become blackened and has bleed from every inch…I am left with an emptiness. The contentment I had once felt has fleeted from my being and has left me urging for more, yet I find my hands empty every time I look down at them. You were a part of me, an essence that I still want to grasp, even for just a moment. Whether that moment lasts a second or a lifetime, just to have a glimpse of you, to feel your presence, would bring me back to a world rich with love and joy, purity and tranquility. Oh for just that one single glimpse, the sparkle in my eye would return, the bounce in my step would be lively and the laughter in my heart would ring out loudly for all to hear. For that one glance, I would give a lifetime; I would walk on fire and tread treacherous roads. I would climb mountains higher then the clouds and travel to another time…if only for a glance.
Oh dear friend of mine, your sweet perfumed smell of roses used to touch my senses and used to tickle me to the core….but my senses are now dead, immune to the stench of the pollution around me. Immune to the hate and betrayal, to the lies and deceit and the gluttony and selfishness that surrounds me. I have become so immune that it has become a part of my world, my existence, my very being. Please dear friend, I need your joy back in my life, your love in my heart and your breath in my soul. I hunger to feel the passion and sincerity, the abundance of emotions that would twirl around me when you were with me. I need to feel your affection from when you’d gently squeeze my heart when I was worried or sad. I need to hear your inspiring words whispered in my ear, the low whisper that would still find its way into my heart.
Dear friend I am pleading; I am begging and imploring you to return. Return safely to me. I pray to God that you would acknowledge my transgressions as those of a childish fool, and accept that I want, no, I need you, in my life again. Understand that I am just a mortal being and in my weakness, travelled in a direction that I knew not where it lead and found myself drowning in sorrow. Oh dear friend, just the thought of you being so far away, yet so close, scares me. For you have been with me, yet I have ignored your pleas and have acted in a selfish manner. Dear friend, please, I beseech you to return, however hard it is for me to accept my destiny, I have been the fool and need you to help me regain composure and love in my life. Dear friend, I leave you now and hope to see and feel you soon. Dear friend, on your arrival, I promise that I would be eternally grateful and in debited to you even in the hereafter.
Your Loving Friend Always…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Loving Friend Always…
What a coincidence! I too have been thinking about you and of the times when we used to spend hours on end daydreaming, laughing and loving life! But I am confused from your letter. I never left you. I am here with you all the time. Can’t you see and feel me? My existence is powered by those dreams that you think have escaped you, but have just been hiding in a dark and shallow place. I could never leave you, for you were so simple to please and love. Oh, wait, I understand…you thought that I could have been pushed away by you, by your actions? No sweetie, for I am too strong of a friend to just allow you to fall from grace. But I gave you space, that is what you needed to realize what was and is important in your life. I am always with you, but for me to be seen or felt, it needs to be something you are convinced that you deserve.
I hear in your tone that you have come to terms with your destiny and have accepted that my help is needed. Your transgressions were the same any other person would have committed. No mortal being on this Earth today is of pure heart; you are all capable of some injustice, of some hurt and pain. It is how your reaction to those actions set you apart from each other. You may have fallen with a thunderous smack, but you have the ability to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and continue. There is nothing to hold you back. You have the high self-esteem you used to carry around in your heart; you just have to find the key that opens the lock. The lock may be rusty, may need a jiggling around of the keys to open, but it will open, just want it enough.
You have also seen me, everyday, little and huge glimpses of me. Have you not noticed? Maybe you have been too busy drowning in your sorrows to realize this, but I have been in every smile you’ve come across, every hello that you have heard, every hug from a child that you have felt, every kiss that has graced your cheeks. My essence has also been in every tear that has been shed, every sacrifice that you have made for your loved ones, even every morning when you wake up. I have been around, I have never deserted you, but you need to understand that there are times you need to really want me close to you. I cannot be with you in times when you have turned a blind eye to my kindness or my gentleness. But I have been here; in the morning sun rays and the sweet spring rain, in the melodic laughter of a child, in a child’s eyes, in the sparkling stars that paint the black night with lights that dazzle. I have been here, in every I Love You that you have said or have heard, in every candle that is blown out on a wish, in every swing pushed high into the sky. With every picture that has been taken, capturing the innocence of a child, in the moonlight that keeps us sleeping peacefully, I have been here. I am all around you, but you must open not only your eyes to see me, but also your heart. You must accept that I exist to please you, to make your life whole. I am what you need in your life, I am what you want. Please, open your heart, trust the world, love yourself, cherish those that surround you, tell them everyday what they mean to you and you will find me at your doorstep again. Most importantly, acknowledge me, and acknowledge the good I do and believe me I would be with you forever.
Love Always Your Dear Friend,
Happiness
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Scents of a Memory
Standing in the sweet breeze that wafts through my soft hair
I am one soul, deprived of love,
Laughing at the fragrant rays that warms my fair skin
Touching the aromatic sands that fall through my delicate fingers
Smelling the scented flowers that tickle my pretty nose
I remember you, remember me,
Two hearts that were intertwined like doves
Two souls cast together like a river into the ocean
Your eyes fell upon me and I fell upon thee,
Hungry with the want of devotion, the feel of love
Sweet memories from these sweet scents emerge from the very depth of my being,
holding me to recollections that cannot be vanquished nor erased,
Dressing me in delightful perfumes of jasmine and gardenia,
Scents of memories I cannot escape,
for I have fallen into the earth as it divided with a rumbling shake,
embracing my thoughts, replacing my doubts…
but alas!
I have awakened and find that these memories exist only in my mind and heart
Reality exposes me to what those memories have become
As I sit here alone, my body wet from the bitter rain,
Cold and shivering from the void of sunlight,
Breathless from the foul odor
I am one soul, deprived of love,
one heart, broken into fragments
these scents of a memory exist
but only in my memory…
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Most US students think Beethoven is a dog
http://rawstory.com/rs/2010/0818/students-beethoven-dog/
Interesting article of how generations continue on to college with very little knowledge of real life issues, history and political movements. It seems that this recent generation of college students are interested just in the "snookies" and "situations" of the world, along with Survivor and the bachelor...Reality TV ...has ultimately become of the death of intelligent human beings...such a shame! Books are no longer read, letters are no longer written and debates on prevalent topics have become non-existent....Such a cruel and unusual world we are raising our kid.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Drowning in Her Eyes
Color…light
Texture…soft
Emotion…true
They say one’s soul emits through the eyes,
as if the body only yields idle talk,
with its supple breasts and curvy thighs
the arc in her back and the movement of her walk
the passion in her voice and the gentle hands
all radiates a certain desire,
but only the stunning eyes can drown a man
with characteristics that signify fire.
She can grab him at any moment,
make him feel for her a powerful yearning
she becomes his only element,
causing in him an uncontrollable burning.
She can drown him within her deep eyes
taking him hostage with a simple glance,
causing him to forget where truth lies,
giving off an illusion of romance.
The window of the soul opens
inviting in the man who has lost all,
shards of sparkling crystals glisten
as he wanders in through and takes a fall.
Now he can no longer break away
for she has a seductive hold on him,
he is trapped, oh how heavy water can weigh
when one can’t move his arms and try to swim.
He has fallen under her intense spell,
lost in her eyes for all of eternity,
he is drowning in her eyes of sweet caramel
drowning with nowhere to go, he is left to be.
Texture…soft
Emotion…true
They say one’s soul emits through the eyes,
as if the body only yields idle talk,
with its supple breasts and curvy thighs
the arc in her back and the movement of her walk
the passion in her voice and the gentle hands
all radiates a certain desire,
but only the stunning eyes can drown a man
with characteristics that signify fire.
She can grab him at any moment,
make him feel for her a powerful yearning
she becomes his only element,
causing in him an uncontrollable burning.
She can drown him within her deep eyes
taking him hostage with a simple glance,
causing him to forget where truth lies,
giving off an illusion of romance.
The window of the soul opens
inviting in the man who has lost all,
shards of sparkling crystals glisten
as he wanders in through and takes a fall.
Now he can no longer break away
for she has a seductive hold on him,
he is trapped, oh how heavy water can weigh
when one can’t move his arms and try to swim.
He has fallen under her intense spell,
lost in her eyes for all of eternity,
he is drowning in her eyes of sweet caramel
drowning with nowhere to go, he is left to be.
Nothing Left
I have nothing left to gain.
The illusions I’ve had have crumbled and fallen.
I have become fragile and weak.
Paralyzed my very spirit.
Now all that is left only time will tell.
What I have lost can never be found.
The sheer sound of your voice
resonates within my very being.
I am left without a choice,
I am left without any control.
The essence of your smile
lingers deep within my memories.
But the facade that you wore
has become disfigured and torn.
Feeling dejected and defeated
I crawl under a space,
trying to fade from this very place
for all I can see is what is not there.
Wait! A whisper in the night has given me hope,
I can stand, I can walk, I can run, I can speak…
But I can no longer love.
The illusions I’ve had have crumbled and fallen.
I have become fragile and weak.
Paralyzed my very spirit.
Now all that is left only time will tell.
What I have lost can never be found.
The sheer sound of your voice
resonates within my very being.
I am left without a choice,
I am left without any control.
The essence of your smile
lingers deep within my memories.
But the facade that you wore
has become disfigured and torn.
Feeling dejected and defeated
I crawl under a space,
trying to fade from this very place
for all I can see is what is not there.
Wait! A whisper in the night has given me hope,
I can stand, I can walk, I can run, I can speak…
But I can no longer love.
State of Comatose
In the moonlight so bright,
I lay alone in a state of comatose,
wondering how to leave this place.
Crying tears of fear, living in fear,
you took from my heart and gave an emptiness to my soul.
I cry those tears in fear, for I cannot make a sound.
Scared of my life, scared for my life, scared because of life.
I lay here in a state of comatose
To chains and rope I am bound,
to a destiny of my own choosing
but not of my own free will.
I try to get up, but am pushed back down.
My knees scream in agony as
my heart thumps to the beat of my own tears
dropping to the ground.
I cry those tears in fear, for I cannot make a sound.
Scared of my life, scared for my life, scared because of life.
Broken I am, torn I will stay,
Forever in this state of comatose.
I lay alone in a state of comatose,
wondering how to leave this place.
Crying tears of fear, living in fear,
you took from my heart and gave an emptiness to my soul.
I cry those tears in fear, for I cannot make a sound.
Scared of my life, scared for my life, scared because of life.
I lay here in a state of comatose
To chains and rope I am bound,
to a destiny of my own choosing
but not of my own free will.
I try to get up, but am pushed back down.
My knees scream in agony as
my heart thumps to the beat of my own tears
dropping to the ground.
I cry those tears in fear, for I cannot make a sound.
Scared of my life, scared for my life, scared because of life.
Broken I am, torn I will stay,
Forever in this state of comatose.
Midnight Sky
Awakening; sounds of raging storms
fear takes over and continues to form
Awkward delusions running through my mind,
as I endlessly search, yet cannot find.
A black abyss envelops my soul,
No longer able to take control.
Clouds disperse a downpour of hail
as I fall to my knees, weakened and frail
Looking up, I cry to the midnight sky
wanting desperately to say good-bye.
Hidden in the shadows is my pride
For I have now all but died.
fear takes over and continues to form
Awkward delusions running through my mind,
as I endlessly search, yet cannot find.
A black abyss envelops my soul,
No longer able to take control.
Clouds disperse a downpour of hail
as I fall to my knees, weakened and frail
Looking up, I cry to the midnight sky
wanting desperately to say good-bye.
Hidden in the shadows is my pride
For I have now all but died.
Would we be in Anguish Like This?
Rain pours, falling like shards of glass,
the moon illuminates the cuts on my skin.
As I wonder how long this will last,
tears stream down my face once again.
Darkness encircles me where your arms used to be,
the cold wet ground has become my bed.
I’m leaving, but would you still remember me?
I feel cold and alone, I guess I am now dead.
My wounds bleed, through my soul the blood seeps,
I close my eyes and all I see is your face,
but the pain won’t allow me to fall asleep.
Wondering where you are? Can I find the place?
Would we be in anguish like this
if long ago, when we first met,
we had shared just one kiss?
Or would we have been able to forget?
Would we have been emotionally falling apart?
Or would we have remained friends?
Confusion has now consumed our very hearts,
as we come to the very end.
Is it love lost or just an infatuation?
Why does something so wrong feel so right?
I am drowning, lost, distracted by temptation.
I can’t continue, need to give up this fight.
It’s hard to walk away and just leave
when I’m feeling this powerful connection.
Don’t know what to say, what to believe.
I look in the mirror and see no reflection.
I can no longer remain here, I am empty,
I have become bruised and battered,
Void of a soul that can breathe easily.
My heart has been left bleeding and shattered.
I know that you too have felt the pain,
but I am no longer who I was, no longer whole.
I’m sitting out here all alone in the cold rain,
desperately searching for my existence, my soul.
I can’t justify what I have done,
The battle rages within my very being.
The devil took over and won,
now, all I have left is this perplexed feeling.
the moon illuminates the cuts on my skin.
As I wonder how long this will last,
tears stream down my face once again.
Darkness encircles me where your arms used to be,
the cold wet ground has become my bed.
I’m leaving, but would you still remember me?
I feel cold and alone, I guess I am now dead.
My wounds bleed, through my soul the blood seeps,
I close my eyes and all I see is your face,
but the pain won’t allow me to fall asleep.
Wondering where you are? Can I find the place?
Would we be in anguish like this
if long ago, when we first met,
we had shared just one kiss?
Or would we have been able to forget?
Would we have been emotionally falling apart?
Or would we have remained friends?
Confusion has now consumed our very hearts,
as we come to the very end.
Is it love lost or just an infatuation?
Why does something so wrong feel so right?
I am drowning, lost, distracted by temptation.
I can’t continue, need to give up this fight.
It’s hard to walk away and just leave
when I’m feeling this powerful connection.
Don’t know what to say, what to believe.
I look in the mirror and see no reflection.
I can no longer remain here, I am empty,
I have become bruised and battered,
Void of a soul that can breathe easily.
My heart has been left bleeding and shattered.
I know that you too have felt the pain,
but I am no longer who I was, no longer whole.
I’m sitting out here all alone in the cold rain,
desperately searching for my existence, my soul.
I can’t justify what I have done,
The battle rages within my very being.
The devil took over and won,
now, all I have left is this perplexed feeling.
Protector
Her eye peeks out from beneath the cloth as she overlooks the man standing beside her. He is handsome, strong and tall, built to protect her. His smile is soft yet his eyes can challenge anyone who dares to utter a word. He is gentle, yet can pounce at the flick of a light. He is a son, a brother, an uncle; he is a husband and a father. She looks at him and wonders what he is thinking.
His daughter runs to him, upset, tears flowing down her cheeks as she shows him her knee, injured from a fall, bleeding from the cut. He smiles at her, kisses her forehead as he caresses her knee. She looks up at him, no she looks up to him, he is her protector, her defender, he is her love, her life.
His son runs up behind his sister to greet his father. He is too heavy to be picked up, but he does it. They hug and he kisses his father on the check. In his father’s eyes he can see that he will grow up to be a good man, a decent man, a loving man. His father has been around for him, he has been his role model, his protector, his defender, he has been his love and his life.
They walk into the house and the kids sit in his lap as he tells them about his day. Attentively they listen, they hang on every word, they cherish these moments. She looks over at them as she prepares the dinner table, she smiles. She enjoys his company; she enjoys his stories and his dreams. She looks at him as if in a daze, unable to believe that a man this good could be found, she knows who he is. He is her protector, her defender; he is her love and her life.
His daughter runs to him, upset, tears flowing down her cheeks as she shows him her knee, injured from a fall, bleeding from the cut. He smiles at her, kisses her forehead as he caresses her knee. She looks up at him, no she looks up to him, he is her protector, her defender, he is her love, her life.
His son runs up behind his sister to greet his father. He is too heavy to be picked up, but he does it. They hug and he kisses his father on the check. In his father’s eyes he can see that he will grow up to be a good man, a decent man, a loving man. His father has been around for him, he has been his role model, his protector, his defender, he has been his love and his life.
They walk into the house and the kids sit in his lap as he tells them about his day. Attentively they listen, they hang on every word, they cherish these moments. She looks over at them as she prepares the dinner table, she smiles. She enjoys his company; she enjoys his stories and his dreams. She looks at him as if in a daze, unable to believe that a man this good could be found, she knows who he is. He is her protector, her defender; he is her love and her life.
Let Me Fly
You called me up just the other day,
said you had something important to say.
Your voice sent shivers down my spine,
I didn’t want to know what was on your mind.
You said you’ve been keeping things inside,
your feelings you no longer want to hide.
You said you’ve felt for me something,
but that I had been a bird with a broken wing.
I told you I didn’t want to hear it,
but the truth is, I just didn’t want to admit
that I too, at one point, felt for you,
but I kept quiet, kept up the false rue.
You said your love for me
was as true and deep as the Red Sea.
You said that the waves that ravaged the oceans,
were the same waves that control your emotions.
You said you continued to be a friend
figuring that your love would transcend.
As real as the wind that blew through the sky,
you hoped that I would never say good-bye.
As you spoke, memories flushed to the surface,
imagining the sweet days that I had missed.
But this cannot be, this isn’t true,
I’m in love with someone else and it isn’t you.
But I just couldn’t say the words out loud,
felt like I was stuck in a dark storm cloud.
You continued, we were friends indeed,
but like an open wound, your heart would only bleed.
You said what you wanted was to be more,
that shook my heart to the very core.
I had to sit and keep my mind in control,
otherwise I would have lost it, body and soul.
I couldn’t help but think I loved you back then,
wishing we were together, over and over again.
Back when I knew you, I kept quiet,
didn’t want to lose you, thought you’d fight it.
How I felt I never allowed you to see,
thinking that we were never meant to be.
You’re still talking and I’m still shaking,
I can hear your heart in pain and aching.
Silence from my part still lingers on,
your love for me should have been over with, gone.
Why do these feelings persist?
They should be erased, no longer exist.
I still hear your voice,
your scared laugh, as if you have no choice
but to tell me all that your feeling,
Desire seeping up from your very being.
Please stop I want to shout,
but it’s just a whisper that I can’t make out.
As bright and full as the moon is tonight,
you said your love illuminates with light.
Again, how could this be? I cannot be yours.
Funny how you mention that true love endures.
It’s as if you’re reading my mind, or is it my heart?
If so can’t you see your breaking it apart?
I can’t deal with this, too much going through my head,
I can’t keep quiet, things can’t remain unsaid.
Please stop, my voice quivers softly,
You need to let me go and let me be.
Your right, true love does endure all,
And mine cannot be questioned by a phone call.
I am in love with him, not you,
It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true.
I’m sorry, friends I would have wanted to remain,
I’m sorry, what I felt for you is no longer the same.
You need to let me go, say good-bye,
my wing is fixed now, let me free, let me fly.
said you had something important to say.
Your voice sent shivers down my spine,
I didn’t want to know what was on your mind.
You said you’ve been keeping things inside,
your feelings you no longer want to hide.
You said you’ve felt for me something,
but that I had been a bird with a broken wing.
I told you I didn’t want to hear it,
but the truth is, I just didn’t want to admit
that I too, at one point, felt for you,
but I kept quiet, kept up the false rue.
You said your love for me
was as true and deep as the Red Sea.
You said that the waves that ravaged the oceans,
were the same waves that control your emotions.
You said you continued to be a friend
figuring that your love would transcend.
As real as the wind that blew through the sky,
you hoped that I would never say good-bye.
As you spoke, memories flushed to the surface,
imagining the sweet days that I had missed.
But this cannot be, this isn’t true,
I’m in love with someone else and it isn’t you.
But I just couldn’t say the words out loud,
felt like I was stuck in a dark storm cloud.
You continued, we were friends indeed,
but like an open wound, your heart would only bleed.
You said what you wanted was to be more,
that shook my heart to the very core.
I had to sit and keep my mind in control,
otherwise I would have lost it, body and soul.
I couldn’t help but think I loved you back then,
wishing we were together, over and over again.
Back when I knew you, I kept quiet,
didn’t want to lose you, thought you’d fight it.
How I felt I never allowed you to see,
thinking that we were never meant to be.
You’re still talking and I’m still shaking,
I can hear your heart in pain and aching.
Silence from my part still lingers on,
your love for me should have been over with, gone.
Why do these feelings persist?
They should be erased, no longer exist.
I still hear your voice,
your scared laugh, as if you have no choice
but to tell me all that your feeling,
Desire seeping up from your very being.
Please stop I want to shout,
but it’s just a whisper that I can’t make out.
As bright and full as the moon is tonight,
you said your love illuminates with light.
Again, how could this be? I cannot be yours.
Funny how you mention that true love endures.
It’s as if you’re reading my mind, or is it my heart?
If so can’t you see your breaking it apart?
I can’t deal with this, too much going through my head,
I can’t keep quiet, things can’t remain unsaid.
Please stop, my voice quivers softly,
You need to let me go and let me be.
Your right, true love does endure all,
And mine cannot be questioned by a phone call.
I am in love with him, not you,
It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true.
I’m sorry, friends I would have wanted to remain,
I’m sorry, what I felt for you is no longer the same.
You need to let me go, say good-bye,
my wing is fixed now, let me free, let me fly.
Lifeless Life
We begin our lives with dreams,
Seeing what we want to, feeling what we need.
But how could we forget the lifeless life we live,
A life full of sorrow, a life full of regret
Broken are our dreams,
sitting upon a shelf,
shattered are our memories,
seeing faces that are unfamiliar.
An open book lies on the mantle
pages torn out between,
forgotten are our hopes,
vanished are our dreams,
living a lifeless life,
weeping our sour tears,
crying to the wind
as we try to lift our heads up high,
suspended by the sky,
no where to go,
we fall from grace,
ashamed of our outcomes,
shivering in the cold,
lonely in the darkness
as we live this lifeless life of ours.
Seeing what we want to, feeling what we need.
But how could we forget the lifeless life we live,
A life full of sorrow, a life full of regret
Broken are our dreams,
sitting upon a shelf,
shattered are our memories,
seeing faces that are unfamiliar.
An open book lies on the mantle
pages torn out between,
forgotten are our hopes,
vanished are our dreams,
living a lifeless life,
weeping our sour tears,
crying to the wind
as we try to lift our heads up high,
suspended by the sky,
no where to go,
we fall from grace,
ashamed of our outcomes,
shivering in the cold,
lonely in the darkness
as we live this lifeless life of ours.
Soft Light
The soft light from the moon engulfs her,
Her tears form, rolling down the shadow on her cheek.
She wipes them away with her snow white hands, elegant, fragile hands.
She tries to stand, but her knees buckle in weakness, in sorrow.
She falls back to the ground, wailing heart beats as loud as thunder memories escape her, forming into hallucinations before her bloodshot and puffy eyes.
She sees what she wants to forget, what she longs to bury.
Her soul torn and battered, a black hole inside her heart.
She whispers to the night,
She pleads to the stars,
She begs the ground to swallow her
To let her forget, let her to have never existed.
She kneels over in prayer, too weak to speak,
Too shameful to scream,
She rocks her body back and forth
Hoping that this motion will put her to sleep.
She agonizes her dread, her destiny, and her life.
Her hands cold, her lips blue, her heart empty.
All she had felt evaporates from within, leaving only thoughts of what could have been.
Her tears form, rolling down the shadow on her cheek.
She wipes them away with her snow white hands, elegant, fragile hands.
She tries to stand, but her knees buckle in weakness, in sorrow.
She falls back to the ground, wailing heart beats as loud as thunder memories escape her, forming into hallucinations before her bloodshot and puffy eyes.
She sees what she wants to forget, what she longs to bury.
Her soul torn and battered, a black hole inside her heart.
She whispers to the night,
She pleads to the stars,
She begs the ground to swallow her
To let her forget, let her to have never existed.
She kneels over in prayer, too weak to speak,
Too shameful to scream,
She rocks her body back and forth
Hoping that this motion will put her to sleep.
She agonizes her dread, her destiny, and her life.
Her hands cold, her lips blue, her heart empty.
All she had felt evaporates from within, leaving only thoughts of what could have been.
She Walks in Silence
She walks in silence as her heals hit the floor in high pitches. A tear starts to form in her eye and quickly she extinguishes it before it falls. She is saddened, hurt left to feel betrayal. She wonders what she has done to deserve this, to suffer unimaginable pain. She walks in silence as her hips sway side to side and she remembers the sweet words that were once said. She was beautiful, she was lively, she even was one full of life. But now she walks in silence as she remembers her destiny. She is lonely, afraid and wounded. She is alone and to her she always will be that way.
She walks in silence as her gold bracelets clang together, creating a sound in an otherwise quiet place. Another tear drops and she is too late, it falls down her cheek and then hits the ground. As if a waterfall, the tears gush towards her heart. She passes by a mirror, the only one in the entire room and stares at herself.
She is ashamed, humiliated, depressed, she is injured, she is isolated, living in a world that offers no forgiveness. Yet she stares at herself, the scar from the burn suffocating her, indulging its sweet fire smell, she closes her eyes. Because just like others can not look at her, she can not face herself. She is no longer beautiful, no longer is she lively, she has now been abandoned, left to pity herself, left to cry and shudder alone. She walks in silence as her heart slows in beats; she walks in silence as she lays herself into the earth, into the unknown, into a world that will not be as kind as this one.
She walks in silence as her gold bracelets clang together, creating a sound in an otherwise quiet place. Another tear drops and she is too late, it falls down her cheek and then hits the ground. As if a waterfall, the tears gush towards her heart. She passes by a mirror, the only one in the entire room and stares at herself.
She is ashamed, humiliated, depressed, she is injured, she is isolated, living in a world that offers no forgiveness. Yet she stares at herself, the scar from the burn suffocating her, indulging its sweet fire smell, she closes her eyes. Because just like others can not look at her, she can not face herself. She is no longer beautiful, no longer is she lively, she has now been abandoned, left to pity herself, left to cry and shudder alone. She walks in silence as her heart slows in beats; she walks in silence as she lays herself into the earth, into the unknown, into a world that will not be as kind as this one.
Angles Laugh For You
Angels laugh for you, yet they cry for us
We weigh our hearts down with the weight of our sorrows
As we deliberate our future paths not even considering the mistakes we’ve made in the past.
Our eyes hold stories of pain while our hearts try to hide them, but as black as the night can be, our souls are even darker.
We weigh our hearts down with the weight of our sorrows
As we deliberate our future paths not even considering the mistakes we’ve made in the past.
Our eyes hold stories of pain while our hearts try to hide them, but as black as the night can be, our souls are even darker.
Bitter Cold
I am cold, bitter cold.
I awaken with a shiver that runs through my body
Wondering why my heart seems so heavy with sorrow
I try to stand only to realize that my knees are weak
I try to utter a sound, only to realize that I have no voice
I am cold, bitter cold.
The need for warmth engulfs me
But I am in a room full of darkness
The night has taken over, taken full control
I try to push away the blanket, but my arms can not move
I am cold, bitter cold.
I try to lift my head, yet it is too heavy
For a moment I thought that it was raining
But saw that it was just a single tear drop
For a moment I thought I heard voices, but they were just my thoughts.
I am cold, bitter cold.
I can not seem to move, can not seem to speak,
Even my heart feels empty
What happens next? Am I alone?
Is this my life? Am I paralyzed?
I am cold, bitter cold.
Darkness still lingers as a warm feeling hits my body
The blanket seems to be getting heavier and heavier
The sensation of wet sand covers me, visions of lying on a beach
More warmth comes and I see a face, a familiar one.
I am cold, bitter cold.
Still not realizing what has happened,
I call out to the faces that have now gathered around me
“I am here, get me out, help me!” I cry with strength I had not known existed.
But no one hears or turns to look at me as I am covered with a sense of suffocation
I am cold, bitter cold.
Why are they crying? What sadness has transpired? Who’s death has occurred?
Then I see in their hand a shovel, the silky sand was earth’s dirt,
A cruel trick played by my mind.
The darkness is the night and my bed, the ground.
I am cold, bitter cold.
I am dead.
I awaken with a shiver that runs through my body
Wondering why my heart seems so heavy with sorrow
I try to stand only to realize that my knees are weak
I try to utter a sound, only to realize that I have no voice
I am cold, bitter cold.
The need for warmth engulfs me
But I am in a room full of darkness
The night has taken over, taken full control
I try to push away the blanket, but my arms can not move
I am cold, bitter cold.
I try to lift my head, yet it is too heavy
For a moment I thought that it was raining
But saw that it was just a single tear drop
For a moment I thought I heard voices, but they were just my thoughts.
I am cold, bitter cold.
I can not seem to move, can not seem to speak,
Even my heart feels empty
What happens next? Am I alone?
Is this my life? Am I paralyzed?
I am cold, bitter cold.
Darkness still lingers as a warm feeling hits my body
The blanket seems to be getting heavier and heavier
The sensation of wet sand covers me, visions of lying on a beach
More warmth comes and I see a face, a familiar one.
I am cold, bitter cold.
Still not realizing what has happened,
I call out to the faces that have now gathered around me
“I am here, get me out, help me!” I cry with strength I had not known existed.
But no one hears or turns to look at me as I am covered with a sense of suffocation
I am cold, bitter cold.
Why are they crying? What sadness has transpired? Who’s death has occurred?
Then I see in their hand a shovel, the silky sand was earth’s dirt,
A cruel trick played by my mind.
The darkness is the night and my bed, the ground.
I am cold, bitter cold.
I am dead.
Endless Journey
I have walked a journey, taking with me stories
Experiences that were mine,
A journey that felt endless in miles and time
With calloused feet and parched lips,
I have treaded rough roads and raging seas
I have heard many voices,
Calling out words
Silencing some ideas, exposing others, inspiring hearts
Yet when I am in this cold house, emptiness lingers,
Memories disperse as if the wind has taking them over
As the sun sets I watch the ocean, wishing that I could swim
Only so that I could drown in my misery
I want the sun back, just a glimpse of it’s torch
So that I could lose myself in its torridness
A wave envelops the sand
As the moon glistens the surface
The ocean pours itself over
As I pour myself into it
A feeling of emotional tranquility takes command
As my mind drowns it it’s very inferno
Losing all I had, all I had once found
Depression engulfs my soul
As a crow flies overhead
Realizing that my life has ended
With this journey that I began
I was searching for myself
For truth of who I am
But ended up here, lying in the warm sand
The moon glistens over me
As I walk into the water
The moon lights my way
But thoughts distract me as I fall beneath the wave
My life that seemed so sad,
No longer exists as I splash around
I realize what I had lost
A journey once started
Has become a journey that has ended
Leaving me here to drown
Experiences that were mine,
A journey that felt endless in miles and time
With calloused feet and parched lips,
I have treaded rough roads and raging seas
I have heard many voices,
Calling out words
Silencing some ideas, exposing others, inspiring hearts
Yet when I am in this cold house, emptiness lingers,
Memories disperse as if the wind has taking them over
As the sun sets I watch the ocean, wishing that I could swim
Only so that I could drown in my misery
I want the sun back, just a glimpse of it’s torch
So that I could lose myself in its torridness
A wave envelops the sand
As the moon glistens the surface
The ocean pours itself over
As I pour myself into it
A feeling of emotional tranquility takes command
As my mind drowns it it’s very inferno
Losing all I had, all I had once found
Depression engulfs my soul
As a crow flies overhead
Realizing that my life has ended
With this journey that I began
I was searching for myself
For truth of who I am
But ended up here, lying in the warm sand
The moon glistens over me
As I walk into the water
The moon lights my way
But thoughts distract me as I fall beneath the wave
My life that seemed so sad,
No longer exists as I splash around
I realize what I had lost
A journey once started
Has become a journey that has ended
Leaving me here to drown
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)