Dear Friend,
I haven’t seen you for a long time, but have been thinking about you everyday. Sometimes I sit and wonder what happened to you and if I had pushed you away. Could it have been that I was too blind to see how important you were in my world? I remember when we would be together and things always seemed hopeful…my dreams, my aspirations, my life. But I let you go, allowed you to leave me here without a smile on my face. What has become of you, could there ever be reconciliation? Would there ever be a time when we would see each other again? You are in my heart, but buried beneath all the sadness that I feel, below the very existence that I have become. Is there a way that I would find myself lead back to you, or you to me? Is there a chance that I could feel your warmth embracing me, embodying my heart and my soul? I have lived without you for so long.
Is it my fault that you left? Was I not appreciative enough? Loving enough? Confident enough? The pure delight of your name, of the sound would enthrall me and enlighten me, would lift me up beyond the blue skis. But I have fallen to the ground, with a thunderous smack! I am left wounded and hurt by the lack of you being in my life. My soul has become blackened and has bleed from every inch…I am left with an emptiness. The contentment I had once felt has fleeted from my being and has left me urging for more, yet I find my hands empty every time I look down at them. You were a part of me, an essence that I still want to grasp, even for just a moment. Whether that moment lasts a second or a lifetime, just to have a glimpse of you, to feel your presence, would bring me back to a world rich with love and joy, purity and tranquility. Oh for just that one single glimpse, the sparkle in my eye would return, the bounce in my step would be lively and the laughter in my heart would ring out loudly for all to hear. For that one glance, I would give a lifetime; I would walk on fire and tread treacherous roads. I would climb mountains higher then the clouds and travel to another time…if only for a glance.
Oh dear friend of mine, your sweet perfumed smell of roses used to touch my senses and used to tickle me to the core….but my senses are now dead, immune to the stench of the pollution around me. Immune to the hate and betrayal, to the lies and deceit and the gluttony and selfishness that surrounds me. I have become so immune that it has become a part of my world, my existence, my very being. Please dear friend, I need your joy back in my life, your love in my heart and your breath in my soul. I hunger to feel the passion and sincerity, the abundance of emotions that would twirl around me when you were with me. I need to feel your affection from when you’d gently squeeze my heart when I was worried or sad. I need to hear your inspiring words whispered in my ear, the low whisper that would still find its way into my heart.
Dear friend I am pleading; I am begging and imploring you to return. Return safely to me. I pray to God that you would acknowledge my transgressions as those of a childish fool, and accept that I want, no, I need you, in my life again. Understand that I am just a mortal being and in my weakness, travelled in a direction that I knew not where it lead and found myself drowning in sorrow. Oh dear friend, just the thought of you being so far away, yet so close, scares me. For you have been with me, yet I have ignored your pleas and have acted in a selfish manner. Dear friend, please, I beseech you to return, however hard it is for me to accept my destiny, I have been the fool and need you to help me regain composure and love in my life. Dear friend, I leave you now and hope to see and feel you soon. Dear friend, on your arrival, I promise that I would be eternally grateful and in debited to you even in the hereafter.
Your Loving Friend Always…
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Dear Loving Friend Always…
What a coincidence! I too have been thinking about you and of the times when we used to spend hours on end daydreaming, laughing and loving life! But I am confused from your letter. I never left you. I am here with you all the time. Can’t you see and feel me? My existence is powered by those dreams that you think have escaped you, but have just been hiding in a dark and shallow place. I could never leave you, for you were so simple to please and love. Oh, wait, I understand…you thought that I could have been pushed away by you, by your actions? No sweetie, for I am too strong of a friend to just allow you to fall from grace. But I gave you space, that is what you needed to realize what was and is important in your life. I am always with you, but for me to be seen or felt, it needs to be something you are convinced that you deserve.
I hear in your tone that you have come to terms with your destiny and have accepted that my help is needed. Your transgressions were the same any other person would have committed. No mortal being on this Earth today is of pure heart; you are all capable of some injustice, of some hurt and pain. It is how your reaction to those actions set you apart from each other. You may have fallen with a thunderous smack, but you have the ability to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and continue. There is nothing to hold you back. You have the high self-esteem you used to carry around in your heart; you just have to find the key that opens the lock. The lock may be rusty, may need a jiggling around of the keys to open, but it will open, just want it enough.
You have also seen me, everyday, little and huge glimpses of me. Have you not noticed? Maybe you have been too busy drowning in your sorrows to realize this, but I have been in every smile you’ve come across, every hello that you have heard, every hug from a child that you have felt, every kiss that has graced your cheeks. My essence has also been in every tear that has been shed, every sacrifice that you have made for your loved ones, even every morning when you wake up. I have been around, I have never deserted you, but you need to understand that there are times you need to really want me close to you. I cannot be with you in times when you have turned a blind eye to my kindness or my gentleness. But I have been here; in the morning sun rays and the sweet spring rain, in the melodic laughter of a child, in a child’s eyes, in the sparkling stars that paint the black night with lights that dazzle. I have been here, in every I Love You that you have said or have heard, in every candle that is blown out on a wish, in every swing pushed high into the sky. With every picture that has been taken, capturing the innocence of a child, in the moonlight that keeps us sleeping peacefully, I have been here. I am all around you, but you must open not only your eyes to see me, but also your heart. You must accept that I exist to please you, to make your life whole. I am what you need in your life, I am what you want. Please, open your heart, trust the world, love yourself, cherish those that surround you, tell them everyday what they mean to you and you will find me at your doorstep again. Most importantly, acknowledge me, and acknowledge the good I do and believe me I would be with you forever.
Love Always Your Dear Friend,
Happiness
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