Thursday, October 18, 2012

Under Siege



The sad truth is that I am not sure of who I am. 
Caught between two worlds, I feel chained,
unable to break free from ignorant assumptions,
veiled in mysterious cultural animosity.
Neglect of understanding how to balance both surroundings,
pulling into directions that stretch me like the points on a compass.
The navigational points force me into an endless demented spiral down into nothingness.
                               
Insomnia attacks my thoughts,
crumbling them into scattered stones and rubble
upon the fragments of my consciousness.
Like fallen rain, drops scatter in a downfall collapse
as ideas of who I am tumble and bend,
yielding into a sewer drain overflowing
with thoughts of who I want to be.

A well with ancient walls surround me as I try to grasp a hold,
my fingers and nails dig deep into the fragile bricks,
as I try climbing to the top, only to find myself back down in the pitiless dark abyss.
A fog overwhelms me as I try to be all of who I am,
only to feel exhausted by the day’s end.
As if my individualism is under siege, I clutch to broken shadows,
tackling and resisting,
yet eventually I am defeated with force by my ill-fated destiny.
I am only a traveler, foreigner to the world I live in
and to the world everyone thinks I belong to.

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